Just thinking...

Do you ever wonder why we do the things we do?

I mean take for example relationships, we are never satisfied without one, there is always something missing, something which we naturally crave yet when we have the relationship we have been craving all we do is complain or think about what else we are lacking.

Is it the case that as soon as one area of your life slots into place another rears its ugly head for needing attention?. We tend to torture ourselves in relationships that dont give us what we need, ignore those bad habits, annoyances and issues we have with our so called loved ones, why do we put up with it?, are we afraid to let go because of what may happen without that person or are we so blinded by love we cant see it for what it truely is?.

I like many other spent so much time analysing my relationship when i was having one i wonder if i ever really got to experience it, and i spent so much time been angry with him for the way he was treating me and the things he did but i often wonder now was my anger mis-directed, was i really angry with myself for allowing him to treat me that way, by not standing my ground with certain things was i just giving in to him and his bahaviour, in a silent way of saying its ok to do that?

I am happier now we are not together compared to how i felt when we were together, yet i miss him a lot it seems though that enough was enough for me and the line was crossed on how much i was willing to take and sacrifice for him and for us.

When that line is crossed and you step back a little, you start to see things without those loved -up rose coloured spectacles. Once you start seeing it for what it was that bitterness that takes hold during the relationship soothes away like a floating breeze in autumn and all it leaves behind is the imprint of a scar in our heart like a wet leaf on the pavement below us.